Thoughts for the day: Paint.net

The art of paint.net Oh... its just a novice work... ><



Then I added a little stuff to make it have a little effect.



Forgive my noobness ><

Thoughts for the day: Applics, decision, idiocy

Live like a fool...

Econs class... began with 5 students present. Then it added to 8. Then, jhan entered class, making it 9... Alex arrived 30 minutes b4 class end. The total students in econs class today is 10~!!! Those who are absent are not truly absent. Truly don't understand what is wrong with these people... Paying tuition fees to skip classes? That's outright dumb.

When you need to make a decision, make it fast! and don't try to do something stupid.... My stupidity brought me to utter frustration and now feeling completely busted. Sorry for today... it was a disaster...

Bugger... tomorrow jazz festive... go or not to go? mum prefer me not to, because the place is rowdy at night. Proven by the papers. pffftttt.... I hate me... stupid me...

Thoughts for the day: Calculus, applics, 2nd month

Today's calculus was horrendous. I can't do the vectors properly and ended up losing all my marks. I hope my complex numbers are fine, cuz I do feel busted by the paper...

Tomorrow's applics... I don't know what to expect and I hope I can do. I've never done a great deal for applics. I hope for once, I could score beautifully. Now, what should I study??? Another day ba... then it's time to focus on mock dy... (no relaxing ar?? T_T sad ausmat life... lucky got something to cheer me up)

29th August
2 months have passed

Thoughts for the day: Guilt, remorse, regret

I don't know why, but I'm sitting here, at home, when I'm supposed to be at college, waiting for moral studies. It's my second time skipping class this year, and it feels... uncomfortable... I don't know, it just doesn't feel right. I am feeling all messed up inside...
"You are not normal!!!" <---- Wai Jean.
Yeah, I have to be abnormal to not skip classes.

I took the federal highway back. It was moving traffic but quite a lot of cars. Anyhow, I almost slammed into the divider somewhere on that stretch of road. Wasn't paying much attention, or was I just sleepy? Either way... Maybe thursday after college, we could go out and have a walk... what say you?

Kz... I think it's better to make up for skipping class... Shall concentrate on tmr's calc exam. A new goal has arrived: Complete all the worksheets again before popping online!! Its 1510 now. Starts now.

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Its 2030~!! This doesn't mean I finised up all the worksheet though. I practically skipped a quarter of the questions and I still have 3 more worksheets to do. Got hooked up wif hp again... So ignored calculus dy... Ah darn!!!! Gonna fail T_T Well, I guess what will be will be!!!

I have to go through that stupid Loke Yew anyhow... I'm leaving at 8 tomorrow, so if I arrived early... well, I don't know.. What should I do? Ring the bell?

Tomorrow's gonna be one hell of a day. Start preparing mentally!!!! Multi-task ON! XD~~

Thoughts for the day: studies, hp, sleep, show, online.... doomsday.... ><

OKKKKKKKKKK I am supposed to --- repeat, SUPPOSED TO---- study... but the daily routine is falling asleep. Zou gong love me too much, I guess... >< Then, I went KC to fetch my bro again. Became food for mosquitos. They love my blood XD~~ Well, I heard they like pigs a lot. (=.= okay... I am zha-ing myself... that sux...) Anyhow, tried my best to do calculus in the open window car, where engine isn't on. Ended up battling the mosquito army half the time.... Damaged myself... >< Critical health before mum came back and saved my life. ON ENGINE!!!!

I am so disgraced and ashamed at my inability to accomplish the objective to finish up the book of hp. >< Done another chapter today. Will try to finish one chapter a day. If not more than one. Try la... >< Plus, got other things to do, for example watch movie!!! bluek~~ I know I should pay more attention to studies... fine... Online only after dinner!!!! Change a bit of the schedule.
"You must always live your life to the fullest. Live like there's no tomorrow, for who knows what is to befall you after this second?"
I just realised how invisible I am to the rest. I can't believe she actually didn't notice me at all even when we're in the same class... This is sooooo depressing... T_T Haihhhhh~ I better die ba... No use de zhu shen... sigh... "baby to you all i am is the invisible man" -- 98 degrees XD Okay, back to series now. (yeaps!!! Not studies!!!! =P)

Thoughts for the day: Birthday entry, pics, calculus, feelings, servant

It was dad's birthday yesterday. Had a little bit of celebration. Went for Bangsar for dinner, at the village, where food is Delicious. Hmmm, I didn't finish up the food... >< Rare, but I must admit I ate quite a lot.

Firstly, there were large large starters consisting of calamari, wedges, some kind of kuih, and a pile of salmon salad. Then, drank one and a half soup. Oh~! The onion soup is marvelous XD~~ The soup has a top cover of cheese (3 types of cheese in one). And then, the milk shake >< My favourite drink of all times!!! Then, the mushroom mozaporne pasta, which I (sadly) didn't finish... T_T Wasted la!!!!








And here's a random number plate picture I took. Nice combination.


***********

That was a happy yesterday. To be compared to a busted, F***ed up today, I guess it pretty well run up quite nice.

Following up is a ranting, do not read it. Unless you're ready to accept that I'm an ass.

There's a few many things I hate in my life. And one of them is a father who has no bloody brains how to care for a child. Ok, I might be very well being rude and not my usual self, but here's the thing, I don't literally hate my father (not always at the very least). Then again, I hate his bloody stupid attitude by which he never cares to think over. I hate bosses, I hate CEO's I hate a father who's a manager for decades!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now he comes back, treat me like some subordinate and expect me to obey his every order!!! I repeat ORDER!!!! Or are father's all like that? If they are, then I guess I hate fathers. Sorry, I might be some bastard father in future, but for now I hate hate hate those hellish act my father does. Being not at home 99% of the time, he has no freaking idea what I am. Every bloody time he comes back, he starts scolding scolding like some bloody boss who can't accept the work done by his underlings! The only difference is that he KNOWS he can't fire me cuz I'm his son!!! YES EXACTLY, THE ONLY THING HE KNOWS IS THAT I AM HIS SON!!!!!!! Or maybe all in all I'm just being a stupid ass who can't think straight and shit hard selfish for myself. Whatever can a bugger ever do? I am just some useless kid, who scores relatively good in exams and is still sucked up badly in attitude-wise. WHAT AM I??? YOUR SLAVE??? BLOODY HELL WANNA TEST MY PATIENT!!!!!!!! and yea, your always right. ALWAYS! I am always wrong. Cuz I'm a kid, who sleeps late (2330) and gets up late (0900). And guess what? Always keat this keat that. Then late by one bloody second reply, "You always do things slowly, taking your own time blah blah blah" CRAP!!!!!!

Ranting ends here... It might very well be my own fault, but regardless, I just can't help feeling busted and screwed up all inside. There you go. End of today. I'd keep myself busy with something, be it sleeping or work or whatsoever. Don't expect much of an online msn.

Tomorrow.. 930? miss call me if u wanna take bus yourself. If not i'll be there 930, plus minus.

Thoughts for the day: Purpose, past, future, test, doubt, chance, life, etc...

There are many things in my head now. Reeling in all sorts of trouble, I'm getting a headache. Where should I aim for now? Father desires to be in Singapore. I personally prefer Aussie. But how am I to get a scholarship? Argh!!!! Headache!!!

Bloody rush of exams is next week. I need to focus now! @_@ Mock is close. And right after that is external. My future lies within these final chance of tests. Hence, I need to reorganise myself. Reformat myself first~~
*
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Reformat done...
Press any key to continue...
..........Calculus..........
..........Applics.........
..........Accounts.........
.........Econs...........
............ESL...............
...........Something important ----- something important-------
Restart program failed... Program will now auto explode in ten seconds...
10
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1
=.= You must be nuts to read whatever is written from the beginning of the sign "*" till here....

Online is being a waste of time already it seems. Since the purpose of being on msn is lost, I guess it's time to dispose of that from my life till the time of need arises again. Henceforth, I shall cut myself off msn... unless it's necessary.

Just in case you failed to receive the other messages, here is another one:
the time is 830am.

I guess it's coming to an end already. There will be less of you and me from now on, or would there?

Thoughts for the day: Emptiness, silence...

Okay... I'm gonna be sooooo lonely tonight... Let's trace back---

Sunday afternoon after lunch, my family took the Estima and drove out. Where to? Our holiday routine -- Singapore!!!! And I missed it T_T Can't go... no katong laksa... no Takashimaya... no nice seafood... no toys XD~~

Henceforth, the house is left to me... So lonely lo Sunday... then the day passed. Came monday. This day is the once in a lifetime chance of bringing Xiao to my house where there's no parents!!!! She likes my house, I like my house... Wahaha~! My house is nice ler =P Sent her home at 6.... and coming back.. the jam is ridiculous... Sigh.. I saw that coming >.<

So today... I am at home here blogging by myself. No chat window... and just the applics assignment in front of me. Xiao refuses to come online for the better good. Yeaps... so, I am left alone... slowly dropping... dropping...... dropping.........

Tomorrow parents are coming back... My once in a lifetime house to myself is gone tomorrow!!! And hell.. mock is close... Still got lots to study... Gather gather gather courage!!!! ...... What courage??

When will it happen again?

Thoughts for the day: Sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday

Xiao's birthday was yesterday!!!! celebrated wif her for like almost the whole day 0.o wow.... I still felt it wasnt enough >< Digged back the form 2 art skill to make... ended up quite bad... zzzzzzzzzz........

1st step


2nd step


Final product


And yeah, gave her a necklace. Hmm.. forgot to take a picture of it... aish... >< Well, my first gift to her ba. Picture of necklace, and story of the party will all be in this magnificant blog - beloved's blog, though I must admit that it isn't a full story =P

Tomorrow is the time of independance!!! For three and a half day I would be left in my house alone. 0.o Home alone~~ What to do? What to do? Hope everything is well while I have to take care of the house >< BASYA~ No more natural second alarm clock for three days... Hope I can wake up... XD

Thoughts for the day: Accounts, strings, time

Haihhhh!!!! Accounts test this week ar~~ And I don't quite get the companies concept!!! Look... my desk today



Better start working la >< plus!!!! Still got applics assignment need to do, and calculus need to refresh mind... And also the coming EE3 for econs... Oh dear... that's wayyyy lot... T_T

Time is running out.... Haihzzzz... Better get things done quick and slick... but must be perfect!!! *Charge power*

Not enuf of u today nuuuuuuuuuu~~~~~

Thoughts for the day: Birthday!!!! Exams =.= Singapore!

Hmmm.... Talent time just ended last night. I am exhausted... came back and slept for erm... 2 hours? It's been awhile... afternoon nap =P

Weeeee~~ Got birthday celebration soon!!!! This is a you-can't-miss birthday!!! To me at least >< Let's see what is there to be noted... This... that... and erm... oh gosh... there's still it... hmmm.... *evil grin*


Happy birthday to you, and a party for me~~~

Then, again... Hell is breaking loose!!!! Well.. not literally anyway... got lots of exams coming up. accounts next week, econs, applics and calculus the week after the week after next week. Sigh... Where's the relaxing days...? *hopes for miracles*

Lastly, father's planning to go Singapore on the 20th... Plan to be approved though.. >< family might follow along *hopes* then I have the house to myself for 3 days ^_^ angelic face coming out =D

Thoughts for the day: Afternoons, depression, if only...

If only I could return to those days... how nice it would be. Those afternoons, with a short relaxing nap. Lying on the bed, or sofa, listening to the sounds around. Of the bikes that zoom by the house, of the noisy old newspaper truck. Feeling the warmth of the afternoon sun all around.

If only I could return to those days... how few things I had to think of. Just needed to feel the air around. Whatever happenings around the world... all dissolved in the quiet and peaceful mind. All there ever was to think of... was what am I going to have for dinner.

If only I could retrieve those wasted time... how different things might be on me now. I might not be so weak and useless after all. Feeling the heavy pressure of the happenings surrounding me, I could only hide away, feeling down... depressed on my inability to cope.

If only I could stop dreaming... and wander around the world with my head up. I lost sight of what is significant. I always blamed on You who saved me when I was about to die that time. Always asking the same question: "Why do you want me to live if I am so useless to the world?" Probably... You loved me too much...

If only there comes a time... I could bring upon myself the strength. The courage to surpass the rest. I will always remain a helpless being with nothing else other than a mind for studies, which is decaying as time passes... Probably... being me just isn't enough after all...

If only I could be better

Thoughts for the day: Audition, Piano, weekend

Today was the audition for talent time. For a few hours within two days of practice, I think we did ok... not particularly good, but ok I guess.

Flew home with well, high speed I guess. a little bit over 120? I was rushing home fast... reached home it was puring heavily there.... Got all wet as I dashed into house. Piano teacher was waiting for me... aiks... late late >< late by 10 mins. Lucky I told her before hand I'd be late...

And the weekend is here. I don't particularly look forward to the weekends since a month ago already. Reason of which... What else =P Shall remain constantly at work for two days before getting back to dream land where paradise is... XD

Here I end my day....

Thoughts for the day: love, talent, strength
Floating and floating
I traverse the land
Finding for a place
Where I'd find myself

Searching and searching
I was unable to find that lost treasure
The one thing that is mysterious
Yet important it is

Stumbled and stumbled again
I met my match
Everytime I fell
It felt harder to get up

Stressing and stressing
I revolved around the problem
A warm and gentle touch I felt
But the pressure was still increasing much

Slowly and slowly
I dropped dead
My heart was too weak and tired
Nothing was done that has helped

Revising and revising
The events around
I've wrought trouble and misery all over
More than the joy that I've given

Endless and endless
I cried
For the treasure was lost forever
I had chosen the path

And that ended everything...

Thoughts for the day: Troubles, work, studies

Argh! I think it's about time to pay attention to the real work... Sigh sigh sigh!!!! Can't switch... >< How long more will I ignore reality????

I hope the sketch goes well... and I hope the studies could improve much better. It's nearing mock... have to focus... Attention divert~! Jason!!! Basya!!!!