Today, I didn't know who brought up the topic, but suddenly everyone was talking about prom. Everyone was asking who would bring who and wear what and how to go and... etc. I just listened.

Concert practice was just as usual. Getting bored of the practices already. It ended quite early today. And mdm Grace said that there won't be any practices for two days T.T, BUT there would be practices for the whole of FRIDAY!!!!! YAYS!!!!

I followed the ill dove on the way back. I just realised that actually there were a few things that I had not noticed about it. However, it was still as cute as ever. A lovely dove, but just incomplete because of the sorrows that troubles it.

That's all. Continue if you wanna read a story. It just popped up in my mind. So don't complain it's too unrealistic and all... It's a dream...

From one end, I looked at her standing in the middle of the bridge. She was looking out towards the wide river. It was dark and windy... The cold chilling breeze began to blow. She moved one hand to move her hair aside, and continued staring out at the river. I slowly walked towards her, and stood just a few steps away from her. She turned her head and looked at me.
I smiled, "You'll catch a cold like that, dear."
She smiled too, but her eyes turned watery, "I don't know where to go anymore. I wanted to go where I want to be the most, but... I don't know where that is."
She lowered her head and looked down on the ground. I walked up towards her and embraced her. She stood idle for a short while, and then she lifted her head.
"Why?" her words came out gently.
"Remember what I told you?" I whispered softly into her ears. "I'd always be here for you. To take you in until you have recovered... always..."
She smiled and rested her head on my shoulder and held on to me. For quite some time we were still. Then, as we got apart from the embrace, I took her hand and we both walked away from the bridge...

I sat lonely today on my way back home. It was quiet, and silently, I fell asleep due to the over-fatigue from the famine and bon odori >.< Anyway....

A person whom I loved since young. A childhood friend. She was the first non-related person I had ever slept in the same room with. That time we were so young, so innocent, and naive to even understand the word love... We were so happy together. We grew up together. She may be the one I might have loved forever. It was unfortunate, that she had to part with me. She left now... And is somewhere far from me. I have not talked to her for a few years already. I didn't know what made me thought of her, but I remembered of our times way back then. In school, in her house, in my house...

Laughing and talking she seemed fine. At times she walked alone and silently weep within. A person who I intended to love more than I know that I should. My last year having to spend tme with her. Yet, I could not do anything to make her feel happier, feel more interested in herself, feel better going with her life. She could seem like a happy person, but I know that she has many sufferings that I could never get to know much about it. She hides them inside and never talks about them. Out of school, she has a lot more to think of. I sympathise her, as well as pray for her. I hope that she would be rid of all those troubles and live a better life. I hope I could help, but she seem to hide away. I know she doesn't see me... But may my remaining heart give her the strength to face her problems...

I woke up, and saw the doors opening. I got my bag, and walked out. I begin to hate myself, for being someone who is always irritating. I didn't know what else to do. And deep inside, I feel that I am changing... Saying goodbye to the old me... the one who would try not to cause any trouble for others... the one who would never hate anyone. I hope I could find him again.

Day by day, going to school, knowing more things, seeing more things, and troubled by more things. Time passed so quickly. It was ending...

Now I am sick, mentally and physically. I felt very weak. I no longer want to gather any hope. I give up. I just wish that the lies would end. Tell me, as soon as possible, so I could know the truth and get myself out of sight. Now I live in a shadow of misbelief. I don't know when should I trust you, when should I even listen to you anymore...

I used to look forward to school. Now every aspect had made me detest schooling. It was like going there just to suffer. I don't know why... maybe it's just cuz I think too much. But then again... I don't know... I lost my interest in going for you. I lost everything...

I'll vanish someday... May it be soon...

Sorry for whatever I did before...

If ever I had 'stalked' you for too long, I apologise... If ever I had troubled you too much, I deeply seek your forgiveness... And I know I've hurt you... not deeply, but still... I am sorry for all those... I will not disturb you anymore.

Since I do not know when... but I had got less things to say to you. Maybe it's cuz I've given up that little hope there was. Or maybe it's cuz I've been brought down again, or maybe... I don't know... I don't understand any of this anymore... My mind is failing, I am shutting down already. I apologise for now... If ever I will treat you coldly, sorry...

I can't figure out what's happening on earth anymore. Time is passing by, but I still feel I'm stuck. I don't know... There are a lot of things in my mind... I think my mood ain't gonna be that good for the next few weeks... sorry if I will do anything upset...

...additional ranting...

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HUMANS!?!?!?!?! CAN'T THEY FREAKING GET SOME SOLUTION TO WORK TOGETHER???? LEO AND INTERACT ALWAYS FIGHT FOR GOOD PROJECTS, ASK THEM TO HAVE A JOINED PROJECT AND THEY DON'T WANT!!!! STUPID AR??? BOTH ARE COMM SERV CLUBS AND THEY CAN'T EVEN DO A JOINED PROJECT TO HELP THE PEOPLE!!!!! AND THE STUPID CONCERT!!!! CHOIR GETS TO SING BEHIND THE DANCERS!!!! WHO THE HELL IS GONNA LOOK AT THE CHOIR IF THE DANCERS ARE DANCING IN FRONT?????????? FINALE CHOIR SINGS ALONE, THEN D DANCERS CAN DIE LIAO ISSIT?????????? STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

forgive me if I hurt anyone's feelings, or my ranting makes no sense.... Sorry about this...

wahahahahah!!!!!!!!!! We did one of the best experiment ever for chem today!!!!!! It's the soap experiment ^^ I thought I'm gonna screw up my experiment, cuz we did not hv any recipes. But Justin brought a mixture of crap oils and then, we just mixed them up and randomly did something. In the process we stole things from here and there to add into our soap solution. TADA!!! We got ourselves a really weird looking liquid-ified soap solution.

It was pinkish, cuz Justin tossed in a whole lot of colouring inside. When we took it up to filter, we got a light orange coloured thingy instead. We used the chem lab's 'mangkuk penyejat' as our mould. >.< It was one fun experiment!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dunno why, but I am getting nuts already. Other than being normal for the chem experiment, which took up our recess, both chem periods and half of our moral class, I appear to be mad the whole time. I was crazy about THAT actual fact that I thought I had accepted. Then, in choir, I got crazy and danced halfway through the singing... Grace thought I was nuts... but nvm her...

After school, I was mad and tired. I almost tripped over the stairs, and can't walk straight for most of the time. I feel idiotic... especially when she passed to me my phone... I didn't know why she was doing that, but I wasn't in the mood to be happy. I wasn't in the mood for anything. I sat in the LRT quiet and dumb. One by one, my frenz left. I went down at my station.

Piano class was crap... I can't play anything nicely. After that, I went out wif mum to fetch little bro. Came back and had dinner. Right after that, went on and started playing the intro for "Cao Cao" by Lin Jun Jie. Got the intro done. Then, I went up and did a bit of hw. Now I sit here typing this... HAhahaahahaha!!!!!!!

"Are you here?"

A simple question. Yet, not many could answer confidently. Living our lives on the face of the Earth, do we know what are we doing, what are we chasing after?

Today was another day. I felt busted. Don't know why... I was in choir practice but I didn't want to be there, I wanna be dancing instead. My feelings were confused. I stood during lunch and thought and thought. After duty I went to see others dance, I was happy watching them dance. Hehe...

After school, I walked with See from school to LRT, then she had a talk with someone for quite long... In the LRT, I sat beside her and talked to her, after she finished her talk with whoever it was. I wonder who... Then, we parted in Chan Sow Lin.

I felt terrible. After waking up from an afternoon nap, I sat here typing. I felt crushed, dying, like a rose whithering, only awaiting for the last petal to fall off. Vanishing... vanishing... Still the question remains unanswered, "Are you here?" "Anata wa soko ni imasuka?"