After a half day's preparation, the International Day of WMS's interact club was FUN!!! There were many presentees. We had to add a few more chairs, there were I think around 130 odd people who attended the IU day. We had speeches as usual, good thing the listeners were quite silent, as the michrophone was a bit too soft. Then, the slide show went on smoothly. Where after we had a sketch ^^ A cute sketch.

After all that, everyone was 'sent' to the info booth to take a look, and then to the canteen for refreshments. Some interactors stayed back in the hall to clear up and arrange the hall for the games session. After all that, we had our short breakfast--the leftovers. Still, it was quite nice, and the drink ^^ Crap... I am addicted to it... I want to drink it now...

Anyway, we proceed with the games. Woohoo!!! It was fun, first was this game where the groups were divided into two, den they start shouting over messages. It got so noisy, then we played the song "xi shua shua", blast it loud. So the noise got more intense!! After this, was the chips!!! The participants were to eat the chips that were placed on their forehead. Again.. many funny things happened. Some chips went straight to the floor, some were eaten when they were on their bodies. It was hilarious.

The last game was to collect money notes placed around the hall on juz small pieces of cardboards. Only two groups played. At first it was slow, then one team was smart, one guy moved on two cardboards and slide around the hall collecting notes. The other group also followed, but they were too late. Therefore, the winning group got the hamper. After all that, interactors rearranged the hall and were dismissed. I was dang tired. After returning I still had classes to attend. I only got to rest at 9.30pm. Pity me lar...

Before we get to the point...
There was yet another holiday like day in school today. The whole day was spent having fun, only that 5K had triple chemistry class. Sad wei... Then, got an experiment report to complete. I enjoyed the piano yet again in school, but only for a short time, because I had to do duty. Something that Zhi said sorta trouble me. Am I really that bully-able? Should I change? Anyway, Clubs and society was getting boring, photography club... haiz...

WOKAY!!!! I'm fed up!!! Just let me burst for the first and last time here!!! Everything here is of utmost honesty and none are lies!!! Not that anyone would read anyway...

The first person I like was SNXY. This, a lot of people knew already. I don't know why, but for her I carried on till form 4. I wrote one poem for her. And started writing my story cuz of her.

Then, as one passed, another came. It was SLSM. She had somehow attracted me, and I was, at a period, able to chat and share with her quite some things. For her, I wrote another poem. And completed the whole second part of the story cuz of her.

At last, was LWS, a person whom I had chat to almost every night for a few weeks. She gave me a different feeling from the previous two. I enjoyed talking to her, until she began to stop. I don't understand. I made a poem for her, too. And for her, I am completing the last part of the story.

As they travel on, I wish them happiness. For that is only what I could do in the end. Now, the feeling for the last one is fading... Though I know, that such feelings would never fade from my heart.

Today, was the rehersal for the sport's day. It was also the long distance running events. I was in medley relay. The 400m went first, they finished quite fast... Then, it's the junior medley, after that it's the senior medley. We got ready, then I began to fear when I heard the starting signal. When I got the baton from stef, I ran. I don't know, when it was near the end, my muscle on the right leg began to hurt. I slowed down, I guess... At last, Red got 3rd place ^^. It was fine, Jian Han was quite quick also.

The thing ended at around 11.30am. The rest of the day was spent at home doing house work. Somehow, my life is going downwards...

Fei P's birthday today!!! We had a looong assembly, wif speeches and dances and everything. The dances are quite entertaining ^^. But then again, I feel sad inside. The whole thing ended at around 9am. Then we went to class and change and went down for sports practice. Well, I had a long "briefing" about tmr's activities... running tmr ler... And till now, I can't sprint, some engine inside broken already.

Had a short training, ran around the car park. Still, I can't sprint... Dang!!! After the short training, everyone gathered at the old basketball court and had a briefing. Then, we went for a march past practice. When everything was done, we had recess till 11.15am. COOL!!! So here and there, more time wasted. Then we had one period of moral. After that, it's lunch time!!!!

Lunch is from 12.30 to 2pm ^^ So very happy. I spent most of my time in 4C. What to do? That's the only class with a piano, though the piano is reallly cacat. Spent all the time there playing and playing only... I didn't even know that the time passed so quickly. XD. After that, we had normal classes... But it was juz a physics and a computer. No hw at all ^^

At interact meeting, I felt very free, very useless... Never mind, as if I was ever useful to anyone... LRT, actually was to wait for her... but then she was late... so, started to walk first with Jian Han, Xiao Ying and Debbie. Halfway up, I stopped and moved aside. Jian Han waited with me. I only waited till Shuen came up. Then we got up the train. Somehow, I still had to get off. So, I bid them fareweel at Sultan Ismail (I think).

That station, I met Kah Xin. So moved towards her and talked a bit, till the train came. I moved to the front compartment where she was sitting. We talked awhile till we reached Chan Sow Lin. She tends to find it hard to believe me... I wonder why, when I had not lied to her, tho she had to me... Somehow, I feel sad... We parted just there. Then got on Sri Petaling train. Met Hor Lee^^ So, we had a short conversation till I got off at Cheras. That was for the day... And she wasn't on9 tonight again. That's why I'm writing this, I guess...

Here's a pic I took sometime ago ^^ My bro and I while waiting for my youngest bro from school :D

I don't feel well. I woke up, feeling really cold, my hands and legs were stiff. With a little more effort, I managed to make it off the bed standing. I took a hot shower, And I mean it... HOT After the hot shower, I did not feel anything else, it was still cold.

This afternoon, I spent 2 hours over on the piano. I was not aware of the time. I began playing around 4, in fact earlier, right after I stopped playing my PS2. I went on and on and on until it was time to eat. That was around 6 something. I don't know, I juz felt like going on like that forever. It was calming, fun and the memories were all flowing freely. Sad memories, happy memories, unforgettable moments, and others...

Now I sit here, with a blank mind. I don't know what to type next already. I don't know what to do already. Tomorrow is Monday yet again. And another week closer to my graduation, and another day closer to the date I leave.

Another day I can't see you, can't talk to you, is another day closer to meeting you again.

My cousins had come to stay for a few days as my uncle and aunt went off to India. They're from London by the way. It's unfair... They have two weeks off for Easter and we have only 1 day >.<

Yesterday was a Thursday. Something very weird happened after school. I was down, I don't know why, but I was. I began walking and walking. My hand phone was out of battery, so I did not bring it to school. I thought it was very weird, there was no one around. I continued moving though.

At some point, I arrived at the Lrt station. I was going up the escalator, I heard the faint sound of the train passing/arriving. When the escalator reached the top, I walked on and made a turn. ??? She's there... Stupid! It was Thursday! Fine... Somehow, dragged along and got on the train wif the busy pixie... It was such a perfect creature... But only existed in fairy tales... sigh... The pixie flew off early, in fact very early. I sat idle and stared at the sky through the window. The next stop snapped me out of it. Somehow, I grabbed my bag and jumped off.

Later that evening, I walked out with my mum to the nearby phone shop to have my phone repaired. There, she "revealed" that she might get me a K700 for my birthday. Anything lar... By the by, I feel my phone is useless...

I had an awkward dream yet again. Lovely dream, but still awkward. My eyes felt watery when I woke up in the morning. Then, there's this song stuck in my head... Something's getting wrong inside... SPM stress possibly...

How shall I start... Like that maybe...

I should feel happy for what I have. There are a lot of things that really are hard to explain and comprehend. For instance, my birth. It was only a few seconds difference. I could not come out. Quickly, the nurse took some equipment to pull me out. So, here I am now. But her action, was it worth it?

I grew up as a healthy, obedient and happy child, until I began to mature. I saw a lot of things, many things which do not explain why it was done, many things that are better without in this world. Such influence had certain impact on me. Now, I am lost, I don't really know who am I. What kind of a person am I to you, in your eyes?

It began in primary 6 when I suddenly felt that I had a new feeling in me. I did not know what was that. It was faint, but it was there. However, it vanished as fast as it appeared. My UPSR results disappointed me. I missed by an A to get a straight while my best friends got straight As. I continued in life towards secondary. The same feeling appeared again at the end of secondary 1. This time, it lingered till I was secondary 4. It slowly fainted from secondary 3.

At secondary 3, I went to apply for ASEAN scholarship. I did not know what I was doing, but I did indeed hope to get it. It turned out I failed. However, that might not seem so bad now that I sit here and thought about it. It was because of my failure, I was able to have that feeling again, this time stronger...

My PMR results were delighting - I got 8As. And I was worrying since that year I was terribly sick, absent from school once every term. I was happy as I was in my family (including cousins) the first person to get a straight A in PMR. It was also that year that I began to get a touch on a relation that carried on till now, though there was a big gap in the middle. The closer relationship began somewhere in sec 4. This relationship somehow became closer and closer. However, there were times that I doubt that it'll ever grow, and might get stuck just there, if not wane... till it vanishes again. I just wanted to say I love you, but it never could come out. I fear for it to disappear... again...

I shall stop here now... I am happy being able to talk to her now and then, being able to see her. And my friends, I am happy they are there. But are they true friends? That I don't know... I hate no one, but being hated, I could not help. It is up to you. Treat me as you like. That's why I am living, to give you a place to hold on till you find another. And always remember... smile ^^

Wooo!!!! Peka first thing in the morning, and it's a physics peka... >< Got it over as usual, the report was left untouched still. There came a rather short class of English. It was more of a free period, I forgot why, hmm... ok.. Next came chemistry. Tough... "Getah asli"... Hayats went toking and toking, so we all copied and copied... However, prefects did not go out for our break... None of us wanted to ask hayati to let us out... Probably cuz she'll screw us wif our chem marks... >< I almost failed...

Break was as usual --- boring. Did the same old duty again and again, I wonder why do we have such "fixed" duties. After break, was maths and double BM... nth much there... Lunch was also fine, only thing is... my arm hurts... stupid pixie... Then again, sorry to the little pixie for my insanity, I think I really did miss it a lot... hehe...

Flying past add maths, was quite glad I was able to do Pilihatur ^^. There was no handball fight today, it was raining. I quickly got up the lrt station, wishing for smth that I knew wasn't possible. It's always difficult for me to find something. On the lrt, Jhan cracked a joke.. Yunn Shuen did not get it. Alex, Jhan and I was laughing all the way at shuen's "naive"ness.

At home... I don't know... I rushed out with mum and bros, to get the photos from sg. wang. My moral photos included. After collecting, we had a long time on the road, the jam was bad, due to the rain most probably. It was a heavy rain, even the river was REALLY overflowing!! I went through the photos. I smiled at some of them, and stayed glued on one of them.

Night time, had a lecture again... An hour... Now I sit here blogging this. I really feel happy, delighted... The amount of time is decreasing... It is close to an end... or so I think... but I don't hope...

Why would there be hope amidst hopelessness? Could a useless me acheive anything? Though I always hoped for...