Thoughts for the day: Afternoons, depression, if only...

If only I could return to those days... how nice it would be. Those afternoons, with a short relaxing nap. Lying on the bed, or sofa, listening to the sounds around. Of the bikes that zoom by the house, of the noisy old newspaper truck. Feeling the warmth of the afternoon sun all around.

If only I could return to those days... how few things I had to think of. Just needed to feel the air around. Whatever happenings around the world... all dissolved in the quiet and peaceful mind. All there ever was to think of... was what am I going to have for dinner.

If only I could retrieve those wasted time... how different things might be on me now. I might not be so weak and useless after all. Feeling the heavy pressure of the happenings surrounding me, I could only hide away, feeling down... depressed on my inability to cope.

If only I could stop dreaming... and wander around the world with my head up. I lost sight of what is significant. I always blamed on You who saved me when I was about to die that time. Always asking the same question: "Why do you want me to live if I am so useless to the world?" Probably... You loved me too much...

If only there comes a time... I could bring upon myself the strength. The courage to surpass the rest. I will always remain a helpless being with nothing else other than a mind for studies, which is decaying as time passes... Probably... being me just isn't enough after all...

If only I could be better